Sleep Overs

[Fat Girl]

The thought of my daughter going on a sleep over at a home other than that of my brother or sister kind of terrifies me.

There are 1 or 2 close friends i know well that I might consider it ok... but a "school friend"... likely not...

Chris says get to know the parents...but short of actually inspecting there home for guns, illegal drugs or kiddie porn, no matter how well you know them by talking to them they could still not be entirely truthful...

Also, how do I know their  "level of household supervision"... what if they never pay attention, then anything could happen... and worse what if they take the kids to the park?  how well do they supervise there?  

i know I am probably being overly protective.... probably worry too much but ... well, i worry!

[Havikats]

MI - you are absolutely right to be paranoid. The world is what it is, and as you said, it's your job to protect your daughter.
As for sleepovers - it was my best (twin) friends' father who molested me at 8.
Better safe than sorry.

[Fat Girl]

Sorry to hear that happened to you Havi. .. it is precisely that that I fear most...

[Havikats]

It was long ago MI. I've worked hard to overcome it and not let him touch my life any further. Thank you. 

[Tigg]

Trust your instincts, if the parents give you the creeps, it's better to be safe than sorry.

[Chunk]

I think Mandy would be okay, we get at least 2-3 videos a day of how life is there, I'm sure she would be well supervised.

[urban cowgirl]

I think Mandy would be okay, we get at least 2-3 videos a day of how life is there, I'm sure she would be well supervised.

How can you argue that one?


As for sleepovers.... Jackson does quite a few, with people I know well. Adults that I consider friends, and hang out with myself. I've seen them interact with their kids in several situations, and I'm confortable with how they "run their household".

Kierstin... there's a few places she'd be allowed to sleepover. She's only actually done it at Amy's house. Several times. So I could go to Vegas. Thanks Amy!  

Kierstin is doing a cheer sleepover with the Pathway cheer girls at the school later this month. That's a big step for me. But, I know her cheer coach well, and after much thought I'm comfortable with it.

Edited to add: Take it for what it's worth, you all know that I intentionally raise my kids to be pretty independant, and ship them all over the country on airplanes by themselves. 

[Fat Girl]

Trust your instincts, if the parents give you the creeps, it's better to be safe than sorry.

You are so right Tigg...

Even if the parents dont' give me the creeps... what if they have other creepy family members i have never met that just happen to stop by?  

[Tigg]

Trust your instincts, if the parents give you the creeps, it's better to be safe than sorry.

You are so right Tigg...

Even if the parents dont' give me the creeps... what if they have other creepy family members i have never met that just happen to stop by?  

Simple, ask who all will be there.  If they aren't willing to let you know who will be there, no sleep over.  If it's someone you know well enough to know that they wouldn't allow creepy people around their own kids (and yours), then not much need to worry about that, but if you don't know them well enough to know who they would, or wouldn't allow around their own kids, then ask who will be there, or if there's a chance of anyone you don't know showing up.  And, tell M to call home if anyone she doesn't know shows up.


When I was a kid, my parents never did much checking up on where I was staying for sleepovers.  They'd meet the other parents for a few minutes, but that was about it.  I don't think I was ever not allowed to go to a sleepover.

However, none of my friends were ever allowed to spend the night at my house.  Their parents always found reasons for the sleepover to be at their houses rather than mine.  My parents creeped out the parents of all of my friends.  My friends had smart parents and made wise choices - my parents were best left untrusted.  I never had any problems on sleepovers at friends houses despite the lack of checking that was done.

[Ice]

I think Mandy would be okay, we get at least 2-3 videos a day of how life is there, I'm sure she would be well supervised.

I know. We just need a live web cam and we would be set.

[Chunk]

I intentionally raise my kids to be pretty independant, and ship them all over the country on airplanes by themselves. 

Yeah who wants their kids living in your basement at 30?  I dont

[RayFu]

I intentionally raise my kids to be pretty independant, and ship them all over the country on airplanes by themselves. 

Yeah who wants their kids living in your basement at 30?  I dont

Good thing I don't have a basement

[Fat Girl]

I intentionally raise my kids to be pretty independant, and ship them all over the country on airplanes by themselves.  

Yeah who wants their kids living in your basement at 30?  I dont

YEah, well i don't want my kid living in someone elses basement at the age of 9 for the last few frightened moments of her life either......

Independence we got...and I even think the airplane thing as an unaccompanied minor would be ok because I know they look after those kids and check ID on who picks them up...but sicko wierdo molesters panic me

[urban cowgirl]

I intentionally raise my kids to be pretty independant, and ship them all over the country on airplanes by themselves.  

Yeah who wants their kids living in your basement at 30?  I dont

YEah, well i don't want my kid living in someone elses basement at the age of 9 for the last few frightened moments of her life either......

Independence we got...and I even think the airplane thing as an unaccompanied minor would be ok because I know they look after those kids and check ID on who picks them up...but sicko wierdo molesters panic me

*sigh* I wish they looked after them, that would possibly justify the extra $100 each way. Depending on airline, they may be seated in general seating, not even the first few rows, with everyone else (US Airways). No idea who would be sitting beside them. It actually creeps me out a little... Kierstin would never go without Jackson.

[Tigg]

I intentionally raise my kids to be pretty independant, and ship them all over the country on airplanes by themselves. 

Yeah who wants their kids living in your basement at 30?  I dont

YEah, well i don't want my kid living in someone elses basement at the age of 9 for the last few frightened moments of her life either......

Independence we got...and I even think the airplane thing as an unaccompanied minor would be ok because I know they look after those kids and check ID on who picks them up...but sicko wierdo molesters panic me

*sigh* I wish they looked after them, that would possibly justify the extra $100 each way. Depending on airline, they may be seated in general seating, not even the first few rows, with everyone else (US Airways). No idea who would be sitting beside them. It actually creeps me out a little... Kierstin would never go without Jackson.

I wouldn't bank on the checking ID part too much either.  When I flew as an unaccompanies minor, the airline lost my paperwork.  They had NO CLUE who was supposed to pick me up.  I, as an 8 year old, convinced them that the family friend who was waiting for me was in fact the person who was supposed to pick me up.  Really, she could have been anyone as far as the airline knew.  The only reason they even knew my name was that I told them who I was - all they knew was that I was an unaccompanied minor that they had no paperwork on.  The unaccompanied minor fees are a joke because they aren't paying for any reliable service at all unless the safety measures have greatly improved since then, but I've seen unaccompanied minors on planes since then and it doesn't seem much better now than when I was a kid.  They did give me free headphones when we hit really bad turbulance because they didn't want a hysterical 8 year old on their hands (I was fine, not at all paniced, but was perfectly happy to get the free movies).  If your kid isn't mature enough to fly without assistance, and isn't able to know who is picking them up at the other end, don't count on the airline to be much help.